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The Hour Before Reset (a Heckmas poem)

Discussion in 'Fan Creations' started by RexTheHalls, Dec 25, 2020.

  1. RexTheHalls

    RexTheHalls New Citizen

    Dec 4, 2017
    Likes Received:
    A parody

    ‘Twas the hour before reset and all through the clan

    The knights were unconscious, down to a man

    The wall drags were flapping on top of their wall

    A paltry defense ‘gainst the next Free For All

    The huntresses slept all snug in the ‘racks

    Dreaming of skeletons dead in their tracks

    And Olga in her kerchief and Brax in his helm

    Were settling down like the rest of the realm

    When out in the land there arose such a ruckus

    ATA had announced a new way they would ... us

    Away to the forums we flew in a flash

    To discover how now we would part with our cash

    When what to our wondering eyes had appeared

    But Cedric the nude, without also his beard

    Showing all what was between that old belly and socks ... er,

    And all wished with fervor he not doffed his boxers

    He sat ‘stride a dragon just freshly reborn

    A small useless fire baby girl Smolderhorn

    More vapid than Todd, she flapped and she flew

    And Cedric’s cried out—yikes, he sounds like a shrew—

    “On Ruby! On Shelldon! On Bubbles and Yrrrrk!

    Get off of that wall; get your asses to work!

    This thing’s made of lava, and I’m in the buff

    And sitting astride it is, shall I say, rough!

    “Besides, she’s quite useless but at least she brings

    Y’all a bunch of gold chow and some Vanbrace-y things

    So put on your relics and eat up your chow

    Cause it’s Tooth and Scale time and my bits are all OW!”

    So down to the feeding grounds dragons they flew

    And sucked back the chow and on relics they threw

    In time for the upcoming mad Free-For-All

    Then returned to their perches atop of the wall

    And just when we thought we were healthy and hale

    ATA then announced an ally fire sale

    And faster than you could put in a ticket

    The ally gold piled high before you could click it

    And what of tomorrow will ATA say?

    They’ll blame it on Todd, and throw some gems our way

    And post an announcement that makes us all gag

    “Merry Heckmas to you, and please enjoy lag!”
    Battlehogs and Solar like this.

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